2/28

Most people would probably say marriage is about love and commitment. I say it is more than that. Friendship is extremely important in a relationship. If you can't be friends you don't have a good foundation. Now this is not to say that all couples need to start off as friends first but its essential to have that base to build upon. Friendship allows people to enjoy similar things and do things with each other. A fulfilling marriage is one that both provides independence for each individual but also connects them as a unit or team. If you don't have friendship then often times there is lust rather than love. Love is obviously important but lust is often mistaken for love.
Another important factor is commitment and loyalty. These both play a big role in a successful marriage. A lot of people say that if this is broken it can't be repaired and understandably so, after all there is clearly a lack of trust that develops when someone is disloyal (this does not always mean infidelity either). There are others who would argue that if there is a break in this commitment that a couple can become stronger by working together to move forward. Because this takes an enormous amount of work and forces people to work through the trust issues it will often make them a stronger unit in the end.
Divorce is something that is very common these days. I don't have issues with divorce in terms of religion as I am not a very religious person myself but I take issue with it that there are a lot of people that go into a marriage with the idea that if it doesn't work out there is always divorce. Well divorce can be amicable and some people are even better friends afterwards however divorce can be brutal. It can bring out the nastiest sides of people and can lead to long drawn out battles that are financially, physically, and emotionally draining. The divorce rate is high there is no doubt about that. There are times when divorce is necessary but it seems like a lot of people use it as what they think is the easy way out. I think discussions need to be had and possible counseling done (not always appropriate it just depends on the situation). I know that, especially when children are involved, I want to do everything I can before I would consider divorce as a possibility because I want to know that I did everything I could.
Sometimes I think if people would just spend more time on their marriage that maybe the divorce rate would go down and maybe people would be happier in general. Sometimes it's the simple, little things-the basics, that we miss that end up adding up to a lot.
 

2/27

I have to admit that one of my guilty pleasures is a soap opera. It’s ridiculous I know but I can’t help it. What is it about these shows that suck us in? I mean the story lines are ridiculous and often completely absurd, not to mention the acting. I mean only in a soap opera can a person “come back from the dead” multiple times, or a town can survive disaster after disaster, and women can be pregnant and have a baby in a matter of mere months. In my defense I only watch one, General Hospital. I would have to say it has some of the most realistic story lines and some of the better acting that I’ve seen compared to other ones. It also happens to have some very famous story lines and characters such as Luke and Laura, and mob boss Sonny Corinthos. One thing I do appreciate about this soap opera is that it touches on some very real and difficult subject matters. There have been episode and story lines such as teen pregnancy, kidnapping, and mental health. The latter is one that working in the field of psychology that I can appreciate. While there are the occasional clichés such as multiple personalities there are other more common mental health issues. Depression, suicide, and bipolar disorder are some of the bigger story lines that have been on this show. They are also well known for promoting awareness for such issues as well as things like (currently) the Shriner’s Hospital for children. I remember one of the most memorable story lines was back in the 1990’s and was the story of a young man names Stone who was HIV positive and eventually died of AIDS. At the times this was a very controversial subject and they handled the delicate subject in a way that was educational about the disease and they showed the very harsh reality that it brings. So as I am watching my DVR recording of today’s episode I am reminded of why I love this show. The complex characters draw you in and you find yourself rooting for even the mob boss himself, who happens to suffer from bipolar as does the actor who portrays him. The writing is done in such a way that makes you fall in love with the characters. Don’t get me wrong there are better things to watch but there is also a lot worse such as these “reality shows” that exploit people. To each his own I guess. So here’s to Monday and the next episode.

2/26

As part of an assignment for a class I had in college we had to plan our funeral. This was not an easy thing to do. Death is something we all face in our lives, both our own mortality and those of the ones we love. It is often an uncomfortable subject to think/talk about. No one wants to think about their own mortality but it is something that we were forced to do as part of this Death and Human Behavior class. We even had to make out a will and have it notarized to get full credit. We were told to think about what we would want after death such as burial or cremation, funeral or memorial, etc. and other things such as music, flowers, readings and rituals. There are a lot of things to consider that most of us probably had not thought about prior to the class. It was a very interesting experience to sit and think of yourself as dying or dead.

I know that I want to be cremated. To be putting me in a box where I will rot does not appeal to me. I don’t care to have a tombstone or my urn buried either. I don’t feel the need to have a rock where family may only come visit on special occasions when they are in town. There are lots of things people can do these days with ashes. The can be spread of course although in some cases and certain places it’s illegal. The can also place some of the ashes in keepsakes and pendants. My husband and I for example each wear a pendant containing some of our son’s ashes. One thing I do know is that whatever details you can figure out a head of time is that much less your family has to worry about during what is already a difficult time. Although it might seem weird to think about these things it’s a necessary evil if you will. Anyone who has had to plan an unexpected funeral for a loved one knows what an agonizing process it can be. Having taken this class it has now prepared me to face and make some very difficult decisions.  

Desserts 2/25

Desserts

Random subject but we were talking about desserts today at work so I guess it’s on my brain. Desserts are such a wonderful thing, if you like sweets if not I suppose it’s a moot point. There are all kinds of desserts: cookies, cakes, pies, bars, ice cream, candy, etc. I happen to have a sweet tooth, thanks to my beloved grandpa Allen. I remember growing up he always had ice cream in the freezer. One of my mom’s favorite memories about my grandpa is sharing peppermint stick ice cream, but it has to be the pink ice cream not the white. Anyway I don’t know that I have a particular favorite type of dessert but I definitely have my favorite kinds of the various types.

Not that anyone cares but here are some of my favorite kinds of various types of desserts:

Cookies: nothing better than a warm chocolate chip cookie with a glass of cold milk

Pie: Has to be apple or pumpkin. I much prefer homemade pumpkin the crusts are never as good in store bought. I also tend to eat my pumpkin pie with a side of cool whip which my husband makes fun of me for.

Ice cream: I like a good drumstick. Narrowing down a favorite ice cream flavor is hard, thanks in large part to my grandpa. Rocky road, peanut butter cup, and a snickers type of flavor are probably my top 3 favorites. I do remember as kid when I would be out with my mom and every now and then we would get a treat I would get a small scoop of mint chocolate chip and orange sherbet on a waffle cone, not one of the big waffle cones but one that is more life the drumstick kind.

Although I do have to say one of my favorite kinds of desserts is cheesecake. I love that you can make it with so many different kinds of ingredients like fruit or candy or other flavors. I don’t know where this recipe came from but my family makes some of the best, ok they best, no bake cheesecake. It is unlike any other that I have tried and so much better. Its consistency is rich and creamy and so good I can’t explain it.

This has me thinking now about the thousands, yes literally thousands, of recipes that I have not only desserts but everything from sauces to snacks to appetizers to sides and main dishes. I have one dedicated just to desserts and breakfast. My big 5” binder is full of all of the other recipes which I have categorized. I went through a brief obsessive phase with recipes and in a way almost started collecting them. I suppose I really should start making some of them so I can get rid of ones that I don’t like. Maybe someday I will have made them all at some point or another. It’s hard because we tend to end up eating the same things because they are good and we like them. Not only that but time is a big factor right now. I don’t have a lot of it and there is the small fact that we are living with my in-laws so I try to keep things simple so I don’t disturb their kitchen. I should make it goal to start making one or two new recipes a month and go from there. So many options, guess I better start browsing for the first one to try.