Family 2/24

Family

Family is such an interesting thing. Sometimes we are blessed with great families and sometimes we are not and other people who don’t share our DNA become our family. My family is very small. I have my extended family of cousins and aunts and uncles but my immediate family is my mom and me. It’s been just the two of us ever since I was little. Even when my mom remarried it still felt like the two of us. I never did care for her ex-husband, and yes this is how I refer to him-not my ex step dad but rather her ex-husband. I remember their wedding day, I was a flower girl and I was so sick. I had a really high fever and was as pale as the white dress. Looking back my mom says me being sick should have been a sign of the disaster that was to occur throughout the coming years. He ended up being an alcoholic who was verbally and emotionally abusive. He had a temper too and I knew that he never cared for me which only solidified that fact that I didn’t like him. (Side note: anyone who has kids and is getting remarried, should take into account what their children think/feel about this person) Anyway to make a long and painful story short much to my liking, they finally, 10 years later, got divorced. I am an only child so I didn’t have any siblings to go through life with, it was always just me. I am the only child of a twice divorced single parent, who is amazing and wonderful regardless of the failed marriages. I was forced to grow up and figure a lot out on my own, not because my mom wasn’t there as a matter of fact we have always been very close and I have always been able to openly and honestly discuss anything with her. I remember a lady my mom used to work with that said I was an old soul and my mom was a new soul. I guess if you believe in that kind of thing it does ring true. We moved several times growing up, it ended up being about every 4 yeas actually, our last move was the summer before I started high school. I came from a big city in the south to a small town in the Midwest. I had to figure out who I was in this place and with these people who practically knew each other most or all of their lives. And again had to do it on my own. High school sucked for a lot of reasons but my mom and her ex were at their worst during this time which made it hard for me as well.

Today I am still very close to my mom and am blessed to have a great family of in laws. We all have our flaws and certain degree of dysfunction but that’s part of being family. I never thought that I would be in the position I am in now nor for as long as I have, living with my husband’s parents. My mother-in-law got a promotion and so my in-laws sold their house and moved in with us until (or supposed to be until) they finished building their house in their new hometown. Well I lost my job do to downsizing and eventually got a job in the same city my mother in law had moved for her new job. We lived together, with my daughter half the time, in an apartment until their house was being built. Once the house was built we moved into it. This all started like 4 years ago. Meanwhile my husband for the last 3+ years was living back where our house was as we were trying to sell it and he was trying to find work in the new town. Sometimes it makes my head spin thinking about all of it, and this is the super simple version believe it or not. Now that I have my husband back with me and my daughter under the same roof I am ready to move. Per a previous post we are currently looking to buy or build a house. Can’t happen soon enough for me. I think anyone, regardless of how well they might get along with their in laws, would agree that they would not want to live with them (especially for this long).

Don’t get me wrong I have been able to love rent free and have a lot of things provided for me and I am not ungrateful for any of it. However anytime you live with someone you are going to have some issues come up and when you feel like one parent doesn’t like you it creates for an uncomfortable and at times very awkward and frustrating living situation. Can’t blame someone for wanting their own space with their own things and to be able to do things their way. There is light at the end of the tunnel though by fall of this year we will have a place of our own whether bought or built. Wish us luck!