Saturday, February 28, 2015

2/28


Most people would probably say marriage is about love and commitment. I say it is more than that. Friendship is extremely important in a relationship. If you can't be friends you don't have a good foundation. Now this is not to say that all couples need to start off as friends first but its essential to have that base to build upon. Friendship allows people to enjoy similar things and do things with each other. A fulfilling marriage is one that both provides independence for each individual but also connects them as a unit or team. If you don't have friendship then often times there is lust rather than love. Love is obviously important but lust is often mistaken for love.
Another important factor is commitment and loyalty. These both play a big role in a successful marriage. A lot of people say that if this is broken it can't be repaired and understandably so, after all there is clearly a lack of trust that develops when someone is disloyal (this does not always mean infidelity either). There are others who would argue that if there is a break in this commitment that a couple can become stronger by working together to move forward. Because this takes an enormous amount of work and forces people to work through the trust issues it will often make them a stronger unit in the end.
Divorce is something that is very common these days. I don't have issues with divorce in terms of religion as I am not a very religious person myself but I take issue with it that there are a lot of people that go into a marriage with the idea that if it doesn't work out there is always divorce. Well divorce can be amicable and some people are even better friends afterwards however divorce can be brutal. It can bring out the nastiest sides of people and can lead to long drawn out battles that are financially, physically, and emotionally draining. The divorce rate is high there is no doubt about that. There are times when divorce is necessary but it seems like a lot of people use it as what they think is the easy way out. I think discussions need to be had and possible counseling done (not always appropriate it just depends on the situation). I know that, especially when children are involved, I want to do everything I can before I would consider divorce as a possibility because I want to know that I did everything I could.
Sometimes I think if people would just spend more time on their marriage that maybe the divorce rate would go down and maybe people would be happier in general. Sometimes it's the simple, little things-the basics, that we miss that end up adding up to a lot.

 

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